It was Valentine’s Day in Paris and I was in on the secret at the table….he was going to propose to his girlfriend at Mont Saint-Michel, our tour destination. He asked us to help to ensure they were alone during the tour of the abbey.  Visiting Mont Saint-Michel, A UNESCO World Heritage site,  in Normandy was not on my “to do” list when I was planning the trip to Paris.  My friend had left me three days earlier, cutting our vacation short (not by anything I did), she just hated Paris (crazy I know!) so I was alone. My relationship with Paris has always been fraught with crazy stories and this was no different…..
There were signs, of course, that I ignored, as this was the first time my friend and I were traveling together. Â My experience and expectations were definitely not aligned with hers. This was her first visit to Paris (not mine) and she had images of the literary Paris – cafes and intellectuals at every turn (a bit like “Midnight in Paris”) – a romantic notion from books and movies.
We had been friends since college and Paris was her idea to escape the sadness of Valentine’s Day in the U.S. as she was alone (sign #1). I had a free business class ticket from JFK to use at the time (before points) so said “sure, why not?” Â I left from JFK traveling business class, she left from Philly in coach. Â I waited at the airport for her as her flight was late and had many issues apparently (sign #2). Â When the shuttle never showed, despite a pre-paid reservation and multiple pay phone calls (before mobile phones), she was angry about the expensive cab to the city – I ignored her snippy comments (sign #3) and mood – we were in Paris!
The hotel, a small townhouse in a residental area, part of the Accor chain, to me, was classic Paris charming. Â We would share a room on the second floor (which in Europe is the third floor) and as luck would have it, the small two person elevator was out of order at the time so we would need to carry our bags up. Â My friend was traveling heavy so this was not good (sign #4). Â Our room with two single beds was actually bigger than I expected with the small bathroom and a street view (she hated it – sign #5).
Paris is one of my favorite walking cities (she didn’t like to walk  -sign #6), Since this was her first visit, she had a list (which I thought I was fine with until it was fully revealed)- visit this, visit that, check the box.  One box was to visit a famous tourist cafe to have a croque monsieur (check with a Coke). One box missing from her list was “try French cuisine” as we had dinner (embarassed to admit this one!) at Planet Hollywood for chicken fingers (I can’t make this one up! sign #7  through #10 because it is fraught with red flags).
Back at the hotel exhausted from our long day, she went to sleep and I stayed awake all night long as my friend apparently had sleep apnea (loud snoring sign #11) that was not disclosed (since added to my Q&A when evaluating travel companions). Â When she woke up refreshed the next day and I looked bleary eyed without sleep, I asked her to get her own room so I could sleep (the hotel had another room – it was a cute, single that she loved!)
On Day 2 in Paris, we would go to Versailles, she was blah about it (sign #12 – who is blah about that place?).
On Day 3, we wandered to find the small umbrella shop that carved the wooden handles that a magazine recommended – we spent an hour lost finding this place (check) when I’d rather have been at the Louvre, Notre Dame, or eating macarons. Â On the way to dinner, she was happy, the first sign of happy in days, I thought it was the umbrella (small things) but there was more. Â She told me that she was leaving the next day on the morning flight back to Philly – her father arranged it and he could rebook my flight too. Â Really? Â I looked at her and said “Thanks, but I’m not leaving”.
Day 4 – FREEDOM
I walked her to the metro and then I was FREE! At first, it was scary, I was all alone in Paris and could have had a pity party for one but I hit high gear and went to the Louvre, had steak frites, ate too many desserts (is there really too many pain au chocolat in Paris?). I Â LOVED the freedom and that day an independent (solo) traveler was born!
Day 5 – Walking Everywhere
I walked everywhere – Notre Dame, along the Seine, through the neighborhoods getting lost without a care in the world. I would dine at the neighborhood Italian restaurant – despite no reservation, they found me a seat (with a time limit) and the staff were attentive so that I did not feel alone.
Day 6 – Valentine’s Day in Paris
My last day in Paris, Valentine’s Day, I signed up for a day tour to Mont Saint Michel. Â Since I was alone, two couples traveling together asked me to join them for lunch (they felt bad for me) and they let me in on the secret. Â What a great way to celebrate my last day in Paris – romantic love. In the abbey, we held back, made sure the room was empty and witnessed the proposal…she said “Yes!”
Clearly, my (former) friend had unrealistic expectations about Valentine’s Day, Paris and me. Â I didn’t have love at home that year either, but unlike my friend, I found love in Paris – the love of travel and exploring on my own realizing that I don’t need to have someone with me (don’t ask me where my husband is) to experience the world.
So this Valentine’s Day (well everyday really), abandon expectations and find what (and who) makes you happy. For me, I’m going to have a chocolate croissant to celebrate being abandoned in Paris and all of the wonderful memories that have followed.
22 thoughts on “Abandoned in Paris, alone on Valentine’s Day, a solo traveler is born!”
What a treat to learn the story of how you became a solo traveler – I recall your previously mentioning how your friend abandoned you in Paris, and it’s good to now know the back story. Your solo initiation was helped by the fact that you were already there and didn’t face the terror (to me) of landing in a non-English speaking country, having to exchange money right away, and finding transportation into town. I had a scary experience years ago in a subway and I’m still terrified of trains, which seem to be the standard mode of transportation now (I much prefer buses). Those are the things I have to work through.
Peggy – this was over twenty years ago before cell phones and google translate so there was an element of being freaked out without knowing french but luckily the trains are color coordinated – I understand your feeling as I’ve been on the wrong train in Copenhagen (thankfully a girl helped me to the right stop). I’m better on my own when the trains make sense, not all do. Am sure you still have a great experience with the buses which are still the main transit in much of europe and will work through the fear with more travels – just make sure to have emergency chocolate to calm your nerves if you get lost (it really helps me)
Loved this!
Amanda – thanks – so glad to see you writing again – am enjoying your recent posts, especially the response to “how to date a girl who travels”
It’s always a revelation when you realise that you’re incompatible with your friends on a travel basis.The more I travel, the worse I am at doing it with other people. I love the selfishness of being able to do what I want when I want.
Traveling with the wrong person is the absolute worst. Been there, done that. I’m so glad that this experience motivated you and didn’t stop you from traveling. As for your former friend – her loss is the world’s gain.
It’s funny I’m reading this – I just wrote a post about how to deal with bad travel companions! It is definitely better to travel alone than with someone you don’t mesh with.
I frequently travel solo and love it! I can do what I want, when I want without trying to please someone else! I think it opens your mind to new things and meeting new people when you travel solo~
What a lovely story! I was enchanted until the end. I am glad you found love in Paris.
What an inspiring post! I hate travelling with grumpy people too although I have to admit that can be me sometimes..at least if you’re on your own you only have your self to blame for the mood!
Ellie
Thank you Eleanor! I’m grumpy until I get a cookie so anyone who travels with me should always have some type of pastry or chocolate.
We would love to go to Paris with you and promise to be better travelers than your former friend. 🙂 We should plan this ASAP! 😀 <3 Happy Valentine's Day!
Loved this story, thanks for sharing with us how you became a solo traveller! <3
I loved reading this!!! So many others would have been scared – and gone home. I am so happy you didn’t and found a love that has served you well over the years. Amazing Valentine’s Day story <3
Next time you need a Paris companion, you call me! What a crazy story – I’m glad it turned out into a great memory. And no, there is no such thing as too much pain au chocolate – in Paris or elsewhere!
I’m so glad you shared this on the Girls vs Globe Facebook page. Somehow I’ve never stumbled upon this story on your blog! I haven’t read a more romantic story about falling in love with solo travel, and it is such an inspiration to me. 🙂 I had a similar experience just in New Orleans. My travel partners were just not traveling the way I wanted to, so I just did it solo. Ah now I just want more!
Thanks Amanda for the kind words. Its good to see that you were able to go your own way in New Orleans – life is too short to wait for everyone else to agree on where to go and what to do. I hope you are chasing the sunshine all over the world on your own schedule
Hi Suzanne, I met you and your mother at Angelina’s in Paris in September 2016. I was having breakfast and you and your mother sat at the table next to mine and I shared with you a similar experience I was having with my friend and travel companion who more or less abandoned me to see Paris alone. I remember your reassuring words to me to enjoy and embrace the experience. Thank you for that because I think I was in panic mode at the time. I developed confidence and courage I didn’t think I had. On top of that I had a blast by myself!
Thanks again!
Hi Kim – I’m really glad to hear that you had a great time in Paris – I know you had a special plan for that visit and I’m glad you were able to discover the courage and confidence inside that’s the solo traveler baptism by fire! I hope you have had other wonderful trips since then.
Cheers
Sue
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